Why My Son’s 10/10 Test Score Made Me Sad
An Emotional Thoughts for All Fathers
Yesterday, I went to pick up my 9-year-old from school, and when he saw me, he immediately opened his bag and brought out his test scores. It’s a perfect 10/10. But I wasn’t impressed.
I felt bad. Reading his body language, I felt I had come short in some ways as a father. There is a backstory.
Over the last couple of months, he hasn’t been doing well in school. His scores have been terrible, and his teacher even complained that he is too slow at learning.
We (myself and his mom) have been putting him under pressure to improve back home. We even attempted to compare him with his high-flying brothers. We are wrong.
I, of all people, should have known better. I was worse than him when I was in his grade. So, when he showed me his test scores, and I sensed his need to prove his worth to me, I knew I needed to have a conversation with him.
After giving him a high-five for his performance, I told him this.
Dear son, I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. If you like, score 0/10 on your tests; I love you no less.
Your test score is not you, I continued. You are the son of a lion, and lions don't start life having all the goodies in the jungle. They struggle, build their characters, and soon enough, become the real deal - the King.
Your starting point in life doesn’t define you. Like you, I wasn’t anywhere close to the best kid in my class. I was the dullest - I was the last kid in class.
In my early childhood education, people never second-guessed my grade. It was known. It was consistent. It was as sure as the sun rising from the east and setting at the west. (Everyone in town knew I would always come last).
People would discussed me derogatorily, and would say, "Adams closed the doors in every exam." But like a lion, I had an attitude that only a few kids in my class had.
I was hungry, wouldn't give up easily, and was ready to look for ways. It took almost forever and sometimes looked like I wasn't fixable, but God came through for me - quicker than I or anyone expected.
I started coming first in my classes beginning from Grade 8, and I maintained that all the way to my Ph.D. class.
I am not there yet. I still struggle in many ways (typical of lions). I am still a slow learner. But I am more than grateful for my growth academically and character-wise. There's one more thing I am thankful for.
I am still hungry, I still don’t give up easily, and I am constantly hunting for new ways to get better, do better, and live a life that pleases my Maker.
So, son, don't worry about those grades for now. Just remember who you are. You are a lion. Stay hungry, stay teachable, keep hunting for new ways, and soon enough - soon enough, you will be the real deal.
Your loving dad!
